Five Circle Members That Faye Kissed
by thevoid68
Summary: Faye Chamberlain takes what she wants, and gets what she wants. That's the way it's always been and always will be.  /  Faye-centric, Faye in various pairings, eventual Fayana


Five Circle Members That Faye Kissed (And the One She Didn't)

  
>Faye Chamberlain takes what she wants, and gets what she wants. That's the way it's always been and always will be. It's the only way to live life. There's no need to pussy-foot around with rules and touchy-feely emotions and responsibility and other words that <em>Diana<em> just loves. Nobody can stop her and nobody ever says no.

When she's fourteen, she realises she wants to kiss Melissa. They're lying on Melissa's bed, heads spinning and limbs throbbing. They'd swiped a few beers from Melissa's father and snuck their way into a party some older kids were having (which turned out to be completely lame). Faye turns her head to see her friend giggling inexplicably at something she could see on the ceiling. Lightweight. Faye wasn't drunk. Sure, she, unlike the other girl, had drunk alcohol before, but anyway, Faye didn't get drunk. Faye Chamberlain was always in control. She definitely wasn't staring at her friend's lips through a tipsy haze. She blinks, and bites back her thoughts.

"Nick was nice. I liked him."

Faye's eyes snap open. "What?"

"You know that guy Nick. The Nick guy with the thing. Oh my God, he said the funniest thing..." Melissa starts giggling at the memory of something apparently hilarious.

"Nick Armstrong?"

"He was cute!"

"He was weird."

"I wanted to kiss him."

Faye says nothing. She doesn't know why that sentence bugged her. "Then why didn't you?"

Melissa is silent for moment. "I've never..."

"What?"

"...kissed."

"You've _never_ kissed a guy?" Faye sits bolt upright. "How did I not know this?"

"Well have you ever seen me kiss anyone?"

"I just assumed you had."

"Well I haven't!" Melissa looks flustered and starts turning red. "And I really wanted to kiss him tonight because he looked all cute and nice but really I wouldn't be a very good kisser and I'd probably just scare him off because I'd use too much tongue or not enough tongue or..."

"Kiss me."

Melissa's babbling stops dead. "What did you say?"

"Kiss me," she repeats calmly.

"Why would..."

"As a practice, dummy. You gotta get through that first embarrassing mess before you can move onto the good stuff." Faye breathes deeply, controlling her senses. Every part of her body wants to shake with nervousness, but she keeps deadly still.

"Wouldn't it be weird?"

"It wouldn't be weird! It's just one friend teaching another."

Melissa looks thoughtful for a moment. "OK." She pulls herself up onto her knees and faces Faye. "Lay it on me."

Faye reaches out a hand and cups the smaller girl's cheek. She can't stop her heart racing, beating hard against her ribs, but it was fine. This was Faye Chamberlain in control. She wants to kiss Melissa. She does.

Melissa is stiff and awkward but her lips are soft and Faye feels herself drawn into it, moving her mouth slightly against Melissa's. It lasts for a few moments before a sudden burst of laughter from her friend breaks their contact. Melissa falls back on the bed, giggling.

"I'm sorry," she gasps between giggles. "I'm sorry, that was weird. We just kissed!" She lies on her back, choking out silent fits of laughter.

Faye lies back, a blissful smirk on her face. That was _fun_.

Its a few months later, another party with Melissa. Nick Armstrong won't stop talking to her – or more accurately, won't stop talking to her breasts. Faye usually likes it when guys look at her. She likes the attention. It's them who want her – she's in control. She can turn them on at the flick of a switch and drop them whenever she wants. She has the power.

But frankly the attention gets a little boring after an hour or two. She turns to study the guy. He's alright-looking, she supposes. Nothing too hideous there. Her eyes flicker up to where Melissa is standing. Nothing had happened since that kiss. Faye wasn't even sure she wanted it to. Melissa was her best friend and she never wanted anything to ruin that. Then again, she had enjoyed that kiss more than any other. She turns her attention back to Nick, who is still talking about who-cares-what. He's good enough for a little experiment, she supposes.

She grabs hold of his shirt and pulls him into a kiss, cutting off his blabbering. It's rough, and a little off-putting. His lips move out of sync with hers and his nose pushes uncomfortably against hers. It feels wrong. She pulls away.

"Wow." The guy looked breathless and excited. "That was great. Wanna go back to my place?"

Faye instinctively wrinkled her nose. "No, I really don't." Her eyes flickered up again to Melissa, and she felt a sudden pang of guilt. "No, I gotta go."

"I'll walk you home..."

"No! No... you stay here. My friend Melissa's staying."

"So?"

"You should go talk to her. You'd like her."

And she stood up and walked away.

The first time she kisses Jake, she's still young and impressionable. Still convinced she's in control. Jake is older, dangerous, a rebel. He's confident and exciting and Faye makes in her mission to make him want her. She thinks she's succeeded. They share their first kiss up against a bedroom door, and then share many more throughout the night. Faye feels good. She's allowed Jake what he wanted and soon she'll be done with him. But he's already done with her. It's less than an hour after their first kiss that he's walking out the door, talking about how it was "a lot of fun" and he'll "see her around". He shuts the door behind him and she suddenly feels very small. It's cold, she pulls the sheets up around her. She realises she doesn't know where she is. There's a party going on downstairs. She pulls her clothes on and runs downstairs. Diana's there. She turns and smiles at her.

"Faye, hey..." Her face drops suddenly. "What's wrong?"

Faye suddenly realises how terrible she must look. She wishes she was wearing more clothes. "I'm fine. I'm just going home."

"You're not fine, what is it? What happened?"

"Just leave me alone, OK!" She storms out before her emotions betray her any more. Diana follows her out.

"I'm walking you home."

Faye doesn't say anything. She lets Diana walk with her. They're both silent the whole way. Faye doesn't let herself cry. She doesn't look at Diana, doesn't show anything on her face. She forces herself to stare straight ahead until they reach Faye's home. Faye says nothing and unlocks her door.

"You know you can talk to me."

Faye doesn't look at her.

"I know we don't really... you know... but I'm here. If you need me."

Faye doesn't move.

"I do care about you, Faye."

Faye opens her front door and moves inside. She almost closes the door, but freezes.

She can feel Diana's ever-present gaze on her back. Something makes her turn around and look at her.

"Thanks."

Diana beams at her. Faye quickly shuts the door behind her.

That night she cries herself to sleep.

"Come on, you gotta do it!" Diana pushes a reluctant Adam towards a giggling Melissa.

"OK fine! But I'd much be doing this with you." He leans towards his girlfriend and kisses her.

Faye feels something rise in her throat and look away. Stares intently at the bottle in the middle of the circle and wonders how she got stuck in such a lame party. She looks up to see Adam giving Melissa a chaste kiss on the lips. Melissa spins the empty bottle. It lands on Diana.

The two girls laugh and go along with the rules of the game. The kiss lasts half a second. Faye watches and feels a sudden rush of anger towards Melissa. For bringing her to this rubbish party. Yes. That was it.

"OK Diana, it's your turn." Diana spins. The bottle points towards Adam.

Faye watches as the couple next to her embrace in a kiss. She automatically grips the carpet. Her nails are digging into the floor and it hurts. Something's in her throat and choking her.

She wants to leave. She should just get up and leave. Faye Chamberlain doesn't have to take this crap. She could get up and be somewhere far cooler in less than a minute. Something's stopping her. It's like a goddamn car crash. She can't seem to look away.

Through gritted teeth she sees Adam spin the bottle. It points to a space between her and Diana. She can see him look straight at Diana, moving towards her...

No.

She lunges forwards, grabs Adam and forces her lips on his. He tenses up, surprised. She can feel everyone looking at her. She pulls away, straining her face into a nonchalant expression.

"What? It landed on me, didn't it?"

The rest of this circle is silent.

"Anyway." She stands up quickly. "You losers carry on with your stupid game. I'm going to get a drink."

Shaking, she walks quickly from the room before anyone can reply.

She's going to look away. Any moment now, the real Faye is going to return and she's going to stop staring and Diana Meade is going to be less than a blip on her radar.

She watches Diana across the room. She's in a short black dress, talking to some guy. She looks amazing.

stop thinking that. She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes herself back to reality. Downs a gulp of her drink.

When she opens her eyes again, Diana is gone. She sees Cassie, arguing with Adam. She sees Jake watching them from a distance. She rolls her eyes internally. How long was _this_ gonna drag on for?

Cassie storms over to her.

"Hey," she states, clearly angry.

"Hey," she replies. She can see the other girl's fists are balled up. "Drink?"

Cassie takes the drink and downs it without word.

"Something got your panties all tight?"

"I'm fine. It's just... Adam. And Jake." Her eyes flicker over to where the two guys are arguing quietly, their hatred of each other barely concealed. "It's like I'm being pulled in two directions at once." She looks at the taller girl. "Do you ever get that? Like the universe is pulling you somewhere that you really don't want to go?"

Faye's eyes drift over through the crowd. Diana's just walked back in the room. She's smiling, having the time of her life. Faye gulps.

"You have no idea."

She takes the cup from Cassie and starts to refill it. "What do you say we make a pact?" She downs half the drink, and follows it with a swig straight from the bottle. "Show them they don't control us."

Cassie's eyes narrow. "Who's 'they'? For you?"

"It's a figure of speech," she adds quickly. "Tonight, nobody controls us. We decide what we feel and what we do. Tonight, we take back our lives."

With a smirk and a raised eyebrow, she hands the cup back to Cassie. "You in?"

Cassie's mouth is hot on hers as she pushes the smaller girl up against the door. She can feel the blonde's body pull closer to hers, hands entwining in her hair, gripping tightly. The kiss is rough, rushed, desperate, tongues battling, teeth biting down on lips. They pull apart for a moment. Faye quickly pulls her top up over her head, tosses it aside, watches Cassie do the same, attacks her mouth again. Cassie's skin is smooth and warm and Faye revels in the contact, trying to lose herself in the embrace, trying to forget everything in the heat, feel something else besides Diana. She wants to lose her mind and soul in this moment.

Her hands move down, fingers fiddle with buttons. Slips her hand past the waistband of Cassie's jeans. Cassie breaks the kiss.

"Faye... wait... we shouldn't."

Faye ignores her. Peppers kisses down her neck. Bites down a little to hear her gasp.

"We're going to regret this."

Faye doesn't even hear her. Blood is pumping through her whole body. She can feel it screaming beneath her skin. She can't think, she can't feel. For a moment it's bliss.

She pulls aside the cotton, feeling the girl's wetness beneath. Forgetting reason and consequence, she slides a finger inside.

The room is silent as Faye clips her bra straps together and pulls her shirt on. Cassie dresses with her back to the other girl.

"You know this isn't going to happen again, right?" the blonde says.

"Good." Faye's voice is filled with bitter honesty.

"I mean... it was... good. But I'm not... y'know..."

"A dyke?"

Cassie was silent for a moment. "Are you... do you like girls?"

The dark-haired girl looks at her with plain eyes. "Yes."

"Who were you talking about? Who are you trying to prove whatever to?"

She says nothing. Cassie stares at her and the knowing look in her eyes burns.

"You know," the blonde continues. "I was trying to run away from my problems tonight. But life doesn't work that way. You gotta face them someday."

"Gee, thanks for the pearls of wisdom, Oprah."

Cassie gives her a sad smile. "See you round." She leaves Faye alone.

She doesn't sleep at all that night.

It's Valentine's Day. The loneliest day of the year, she remembers Melissa calls it. Faye sits, sipping fruit punch and pretending she's not watching Diana. It's some lame Valentines Dance at the school. Faye wishes she was anywhere else.

Suddenly she sees something. A part of her snaps.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Diana jumps, taken by surprise as Faye storms up to her.

"Faye, what are you..."

"You and Adam? What the hell was that?"

Diana averts her eyes. "We were just talking."

"Didn't really look like talking." Faye gulps, emotions rising in her throat. "Looked a lot like kissing."

Diana says nothing.

"What did he want?"

"You know it's really none of your business."

"Diana, everything is my business. Tell me."

Diana turns to look at her, defiance in her eyes. "He wanted to get back together."

Faye barks out a mirthless laugh. She suddenly feels sick. "Well isn't that... convenient. Looks like girls aren't the only ones who get lonely and desperate on Valentine's Day."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, Cassie dumps him for Jake and now suddenly he's all interested in you again..."

Diana slams her drink down so hard the table shakes. "And that's the only reason he could possibly want me, is it? I have nothing to offer, I'm just some second choice back-up, is that right?"

"Look, the fact is..."

"Screw you, Faye!" The other girl is suddenly facing up to her her, her mouth only inches away from Faye's. "Just because you're unhappy, doesn't mean you have to go around being a bitch and making everyone else unhappy too."

Faye can feel the anger and frustration rising inside her. Diana's breath is hot on her face.

"I'm just trying to look out for _you_."

"Right, because you care _so_ much about my feelings."

"Look, if you don't want me to care about you, then that's fine, you can just-"

"What's going on?"

Faye winces. Adam's standing right behind her. She doesn't tear her gaze from Diana's.

"Go away, Adam."

"Diana, are you OK?"

Faye spins on her heel. "Diana doesn't need you, OK? So take your little glass of punch and your apologies and leave her alone."

"Faye, stop-"

"Faye I don't really think this is any of your-"

She can't think. Her head is numb, blood pumping out of control. She barely knows what she's saying.

"Just get out now, before you dump Diana for the next little blonde that comes along."

"I just want to talk to her, Faye."

"Well so do I!"

She's shouting. Half the hall is staring. Adam tries to walk past her.

"You have absolutely no right!"

"Get out of my way."

"You hurt her and you don't deserve her."

"Leave him alone, Faye!"

"You're just a sad pathetic-"

She stops. He pushes past Faye. Grabs Diana's hand.

Something white hot rushes through her.

"Don't touch her!"

She can't see a thing. There's no thought, no plan. Just angry red emotion. There's a crash. A shatter of glass. When reason finally returns to Faye's head, Adam's on the floor. The table's knocked over, there's punch everywhere. His hand is bleeding, shards of glass in his palm.

There's silence.

Faye runs.

The world outside is cold and wet. The freezing rain pierces her skin. Hides her tears. She hears someone follow behind her.

"What the hell was that?"

She doesn't answer. She doesn't want Diana to look at her. She walks away.

"FAYE! Come back here. Don't walk away from me!"

"Just leave me alone, Diana!"

She turns to look at the other girl. She's soaking wet, looks freezing.

"Not until you tell me what just happened in there."

"Just forget it, OK! Go back in there and look after your boyfriend."

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Why are you being so _bitter_ to me? Do you hate me that much?"

Faye can't speak. The look on Diana's face is breaking her heart.

"Fine." Diana throws her hands up. "If you want to be alone, fine. I don't care anymore."

She turns away from Faye and walks straight back towards the school.

"Don't get back together with Adam."

She stops walking. Time stands still. Even the rain seems to stop for a moment.

"What did you just say?"

"Don't get back with him."

"And why not?" Diana walks a few steps closer to Faye. "I have been lonely for so long, why the hell shouldn't I give him another chance?"

"Because he doesn't love you!"

"How do you know?"

Diana's crying. Faye wants so badly to reach out and wipe her tears away. Something roots her to the spot.

"Do you even know what it's like to love someone, Faye?"

"That not fair, how dare you-"

"Show me, Faye! Show me that you can care about someone other than yourself. I know that you can, I just need you to actually prove it for once in your-"

"What do you want from me, Diana? Go one, tell me what I need to do! Tell me!"

Diana shakes her head. "I'm going back in there."

"Don't"

"Faye..."

"Just don't."

"Give me a reason!" Diana's so close now. She grabs Faye's hand, almost pleading. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go back in there."

Faye looks at the girl in front of her. She's everything she wants. In that moment she wants nothing more than to take her into her arms, hold her, warm her, kiss her. Every fibre of her soul screams to her body, telling her to push her limbs out to hold her, to pull her close and touch her lips to Diana's.

She opens her mouth to speak. Nothing comes out. Her mind feels empty. The emotion has drained all the life from her body and she's too numb to move.

She can feel every part of herself slipping away into nothing.

Diana lets go of her hand. Her face is red from crying. She turns away. Walks away from her. There's nothing Faye can do. She watches the other girl, rooted to the spot, not even feeling the cold anymore as the girl she loves disappears, swallowed from sight by the torrential rain.

Faye Chamberlain takes what she wants, and always gets what she wants.

That was the plan, anyway.


End file.
